Thinking Of You
by HouseHaddock
Summary: Kurt and Blaine broke up right before college and Kurt found romance with a new boy. But he can't stop comparing him to Blaine. Then Blaine shows up and Kurt has no idea what to do... Go the safe way, or risk it to have true love. One shot. M for smut.


**Based off of the song "Thinking of You" by Katy Perry. I was listening to the song and inspiration hit, and the rest is history.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

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><p>Alexander was pretty enough. He had natural blonde hair, dark, chocolate eyes. He was tall and his voice was deep and melodic. His fashion sense was impeccable to say the least. Anyone who met him instantly fell in love with him.<p>

Everyone except Kurt Hummel.

He was very good at pretending though.

Kurt had met Alexander in college, at the Fashion Institute of Technology in New York. They had several classes together. Alexander was a sophomore at the time, while Kurt was a freshman, and Alexander showed Kurt around and helped him get to the know the campus and such.

Kurt had been slightly shocked by this attention, but it didn't take him long to realize that Alexander was about as gay as could be, despite the ladies almost falling at his feet when he would walk into a room with that charming smile of his. It won everyone over, _he _won everyone over. And at first, Kurt thought he had been won over himself.

Right before graduating high school, one Blaine Anderson had up and decided to attend Berklee College of Music in Boston, having gotten quite a large scholarship. When Blaine told Kurt, the resulting conversation had not been a pretty one. The two had broken up, and while they had both promised to stay friends, their relationship was entirely strained. They spent the rest of the school year avoiding each other and didn't even see one another before heading off to their respective schools.

Unfortunately, it seemed like the only thing Kurt had been able to think of was Blaine. That is, until he met Alexander. Alexander had been a great distraction for Kurt. Before Alexander told Kurt that he was gay, they spent so much time together, talking and going out to lunch. Kurt liked Alexander, even if only as a friend.

Once Alexander confided in Kurt that he was gay, which in itself wasn't a secret, he asked Kurt out on an actual date. Kurt had seen this coming. He saw the way Alexander would look at him, how the boy seemed to get caught up in Kurt's eyes.

It was almost the same way Blaine would look at Kurt.

Kurt graciously accepted. Alexander took him on a lovely date. He was a complete gentleman. He held doors open for Kurt, he pulled out Kurt's chair for him. He told Kurt he could order whatever he pleased and paid for the entire meal at the end of the night, tip and all. What surprised Kurt most was that he didn't do it arrogantly in the least. He even agreed to let Kurt pay for their next date.

Alexander walked Kurt back to his dorm and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek, to which Kurt flushed and stuttered out a thanks, before saying good night and going into his room.

Throughout that entire night, Kurt hadn't thought of Blaine once.

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><p>The thoughts of Blaine couldn't be fought off for too long though. It only took a few more dates before Kurt realized he was comparing everything about Alexander to Blaine.<p>

Alexander's straight blonde hair was cute, but Kurt found that he wished it was dark and curly. Alexander's eyes were beautiful, but Kurt found he wished they were lighter, with the ability to take on a greenish shade depending on his mood. Sometimes when they were talking, Kurt wished he didn't have to look up… he wished Alexander was just a bit shorter than him.

It got worse once they got into a more physical relationship. Alexander's lips were thin, nowhere near as full as Blaine's. He tasted like mints. Kurt almost started crying when he realized he was pretending Alexander's tongue tasted like coffee, like Blaine's always had.

Kurt found that he hated when Alexander touched him. His fingers were too long and slender like Kurt's. It almost felt like Kurt was touching himself, gripping his own hips, sliding his fingers along his own bare skin under his shirt. It was nothing like the feel of calloused fingers ghosting over him.

He shouldn't feel so disgusted with himself whenever he's with Alexander. But he does. And Kurt doesn't know what to do about it.

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><p>A few months into their relationship, Alexander expresses interest in taking things further. Kurt knows what he wants, but he still plays dumb. "What do you mean?" he asks.<p>

"I want to be with you… I want to have sex with you."

The answer was so much more blunt than Kurt had expected. He doesn't remember why he agreed. He just knows that inside, he was screaming.

It wasn't that Kurt was a virgin. No, far from that. He had, in fact, lost his virginity to Blaine, who had in turn lost his virginity to Kurt. It had happened on their one year anniversary, just months before graduation, just months before they broke up.

That had been an amazing night, one Kurt would never forget. It was all soft kisses, gentle whispers of encouragement and I love you's, hands clasping hands. Okay, that sounds so romantic, but somehow, it had turned out to be, despite the awkwardness that comes with having sex for the first time. No, scratch that, Kurt and Blaine didn't have sex, they had made love that night.

It hadn't been their only time, that first time. It wasn't like they had done it often, but a couple times after, before they broke up.

But Kurt didn't want this with Alexander. Alexander didn't know his body the way Blaine did. Alexander didn't kiss Kurt the way Blaine did. Alexander didn't look at Kurt the way Blaine did.

Alexander wasn't Blaine.

And that was the thought constantly running through Kurt's head when the day came for him and Alexander to sleep together. Alexander did everything he could to make it special for Kurt. He had candles and romantic music, it was like out of a cheesy romantic comedy.

Kurt had let Alexander kiss him, touch his body, at least above his hips. He felt dirty and he felt cheap and he hated it, because Alexander wasn't doing anything to purposely make him feel that way.

It was when Alexander moved to take off Kurt's signature skinny jeans that Kurt stopped him. There were tears in his eyes, which he hated himself for, but he told Alexander that he just couldn't do it, that he wasn't ready. Alexander had just smiled that too charming smile and kissed Kurt's forehead softly, saying it was fine and they would wait until Kurt was completely ready.

Kurt wondered if that time would ever even come.

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><p>It had been a couple of weeks since that night. Kurt made as many excuses as he could, but he knew he was running out of them. He also knew that Alexander would never force him into anything. He was just too damn nice.<p>

Was it awful that Kurt was happy when Alexander had called him and told him he wasn't feeling well and that he wouldn't be coming to class? Kurt felt almost… free for a while. He went to his usual classes, talking to people besides Alexander for once. It felt good.

Until he was walking across campus and ran right into a shorter boy with a mess of dark curls on top of his head.

Kurt stumbled back, catching himself quickly and staring in wide-eyed horror at the boy standing in front of him, who had also almost fallen over himself. His hair was a little longer, his curls free from all the gel that had once held them down. His clothes were slightly wrinkled, like he'd been wearing them for a couple of days. He looked different, more rugged, except for his eyes. Still so bright and looking at Kurt in complete adoration.

"B-Blaine…" Kurt whispered, his voice high pitched and cracking slightly. If he wasn't in such shock, he would've hated himself for that.

"Kurt…" Blaine whispered back, his voice sounding completely broken. Kurt crumbled. He took a step forward, pulling Blaine into his arms. Blaine hugged back tightly, clutching at Kurt like he was afraid to let go.

Kurt would have just held onto Blaine and never let go, if it weren't for all of the people watching them, many of them friends of Kurt and Alexander. He quickly let go of Blaine and bit his lip. Blaine looked confused. "Why are you here?" Kurt asked.

"I needed to see you… I needed to talk to you…"

"We can't talk here… Follow me."

Kurt gripped the strap of his messenger bag and started off towards his dorm. Blaine fell into step with him, clutching a large duffle bag, which Kurt had only now noticed. They fell into an oddly comfortable silence as they walked, neither of them looking at each other.

He opened the door to his dorm and held it open for Blaine. Blaine smiled slightly and walked in, looking around. Kurt followed and closed the door behind him, setting his bag down on his bed.

Blaine stood awkwardly in the middle of the room.

Kurt smoothed his bangs back. "So, why are you here?" he asked. Blaine looked up and sighed.

"I left Berklee. I hated it there. I thought I would love it, it's a school of music for God's sake! But… I was miserable, Kurt. And now… Now everything is shit and I have to figure out what the fuck I'm going to do," Blaine explained, before sighing heavily and looking down. "I had to sell my guitar to get here… It sucked. All my others one are home, but that one was my favorite. My luck right? I take my favorite guitar to school and everything goes to Hell."

Kurt stared at Blaine, his eyes slightly wide. He processed Blaine's words, before furrowing his brows. "So… You left school and you came here? Why, I don't understand…"

Blaine looked over at Kurt, his eyes sparkling with unshed tears. "I came here, because I figured out why I was so miserable, Kurt… I was miserable because you weren't there…"

Kurt's eyes widened more. Was he dreaming?

"Breaking up with you was the biggest mistake I ever made…" Blaine set down his duffle bag, before stepping towards Kurt. Kurt forgot how to move. "I'm still in love with you, Kurt… I haven't stopped thinking about you… You're constantly on my mind, and… I need you, Kurt…"

Blaine stood in front of Kurt, staring into his ex's eyes. He tentatively reached up and cupped Kurt's face. Kurt sighed softly and leaned into Blaine's touch on instinct. Before he knew what was really happening, Blaine had leaned in and pressed his lips to Kurt's in a soft kiss.

Kurt's mind was telling him "STOP! YOU'RE DATING ANOTHER GUY!" His heart was telling him "BLAINE CAME TO NEW YORK FOR YOU! BLAINE QUIT SCHOOL FOR YOU! BLAINE IS FUCKING _KISSING_ YOU, KISS BACK!" Kurt did the only logical thing he could think of… He kissed Blaine back.

Things got really heated really fast from there. Tongues were tangling, hands were gripping at clothing. Kurt moved back until he fell onto his bed. Blaine fell on top of him, straddling him and moving to unbutton Kurt's vest while Blaine's lips sucked at the skin of Kurt's neck.

And that was when Kurt's subconscious kicked in.

Kurt pushed Blaine off of him and sat at him. Blaine stared at him, flushed and breathless.

"I have a boyfriend…" Kurt whimpered.

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><p>Blaine was now seated at Kurt's desk, staring down at his feet. Kurt was sitting on his bed, picking at his comforter. He had never seen Blaine move so fast.<p>

"What's his name?" Blaine whispered.

"Alexander."

"How long?"

"A while…"

"Have you two….?"

"No."

Blaine looked up and stared at Kurt. Kurt could feel his gaze on him and sighed. He snapped his head up. "What Blaine?"

"I feel stupid. I feel so stupid. I came here, thinking you would run into my arms and take me back like nothing happened. I didn't even get to apologize like I wanted. I was stupid to think you would be waiting for me," Blaine muttered, getting up and grabbing his bag. "I'll just go."

Kurt stood. "Where? Where are you going to go?"

Blaine sighed. "I don't know, but I'll figure it out."

Kurt placed his hand on Blaine's shoulder. "I can't just let you leave knowing that you have no where to go… At least stay with me for a couple of days, until you can find a place." Blaine was about to protest, motioning to the empty bed, when Kurt held up his hand. "I don't have a roommate. I did, but he couldn't afford to live on campus, so he moved in with his girlfriend. At least, that's what he told me. Regardless, you need a place to stay, and I have a bed. I'm friends with the RA, I'll make sure he doesn't tell anyone. You just need to stay quiet and we'll find you some place to stay."

Blaine shook his head. "That has to be breaking so many rules…"

Kurt smirked and shook his head. "If I say that you're a friend boarding with me for a few days, they can't say anything. People are allowed to have visitors. I know people who have friends stay over all the time."

Blaine sighed. "Fine…"

Kurt took Blaine's bag and took it over to the extra cupboard. He grabbed the extra sheets and such that he had put in there and went over to make the bed. Kurt had just set the blankets down when his phone rang. He bit his lip and grabbed it. Alexander. "I'll be right back…" he whispered, before sliding the lock and putting the phone to his ear. "Hey honey…" Kurt answered as he walked out of the room.

Blaine stared after him and sighed, before getting to work making the bed.

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><p>Blaine didn't have to stay with Kurt long. He called his parents and they pulled some strings. They got him a place to stay, a job at one of Blaine's father's city offices, and they also wired him some money for the basic necessities.<p>

Both boys were upset and relieved at the same time. Blaine being there was awkward, considering they'd made out. But Kurt liked having Blaine there… He had apologized without saying anything, as had Kurt, though they both knew they had to say it out loud at some point.

Blaine liked being around Kurt, but he didn't want to have to meet Alexander. He was sure he was a nice guy, but because he had Kurt, Blaine just had this irrational hatred for him. He was also pretty sure murdering Kurt's boyfriend wouldn't win Kurt over.

So Blaine moved out, and things went somewhat back to normal for Kurt. Except they didn't at all.

Because now, the taste of Blaine's mouth, the feel of his hands, the smell of_ Blaine_ was fresh and burned into Kurt's mind. He couldn't stop thinking about those eyes and those lips… And those thoughts lead to other thoughts, which eventually lead to cold showers.

He didn't realize that Blaine was having the exact same problem.

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><p>Kurt sat in Alexander's dorm room, trying to read for one of his assignments as Alexander pressed kisses along his neck. It was almost the end of the school year, and finals were rearing their ugly, ugly heads. Kurt was getting pretty annoyed, because he really needed to get this assignment done and he was also wishing that it was Blaine sucking on his neck.<p>

Kurt put a hand to Alexander's chest and pushed him away. "Can you please stop? I need to finish this."

Alexander looked up at Kurt with worried eyes. "Did I do something wrong?" he asked in a soft voice. Kurt sighed. Why did this guy have to be so damn nice?

"No, no, I just need to get this done."

He looked back down at his book while Alexander sat up and ran his hand through his hair. "Is everything okay? You've seemed very… distant lately. Is it because of… Of that guy? Blake?" he asked.

Kurt didn't even look up. "Blaine. And I'm fine. I'm just stressed out right now." Yes, he had told Alexander about Blaine. Not about the making out part, but Alexander knew the gist.

He hadn't made it easy for Alexander not to feel threatened by Blaine. Kurt spent a lot of his time with Blaine. They still hadn't apologized to each other… It was hanging between them, but no moment felt like the right moment. They were basically just re-associating themselves with each other.

Alexander sighed. "You know, sometimes, I don't get you, Kurt Hummel," he said, getting up and going to his desk. Kurt looked up and sighed, closing his book and stuffing it into his bag.

"I'll see you later," he said, walking out before Alexander could get a word in. He walked out of the dorm building and hailed a taxi, taking it to Blaine's apartment. Kurt went straight up to Blaine's door, knocking, hoping he was there.

Blaine opened the door after a moment, looking confused when he saw Kurt standing there. Kurt teared up involuntarily, all the pain he had been feeling for a year bubbling to the surface.

"Blaine… Every time I'm with him, I'm constantly thinking of you… When he smiles at me, I pretend it's you. When he touches me, I pretend it's you. When he kisses me… I pretend it's you… I hate that I do this to him and myself, because he's so nice and he doesn't deserve it… But… I don't know how much longer I can go on like this…" Kurt explained, laying his heart out in a way he never liked to.

Blaine stared at Kurt for a moment, before grabbing his hand and pulling him inside, closing the door behind him. He took Kurt's bag and set it aside, before cupping Kurt's face, tears welling up in his beautiful hazel eyes. "I'm so sorry… Kurt, I'm sorry about choosing a damn school over you… I'm sorry for breaking up with you… I'm sorry for everything I ever did to hurt you… I love you so much."

Kurt started crying harder. "I'm sorry too… I shouldn't have reacted the way I did… I need you, Blaine. I love you."

Blaine pulled Kurt into a deep kiss, his eyes fluttering shut as their lips moved together so perfectly. Kurt sighed into the kiss and kissed back, knowing this was just what he needed. He was going to forget about all his problems, just for now. He wanted Blaine. He needed Blaine. And at the moment, Blaine was all that mattered to him.

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><p>Clothes were shed hastily as the boys made their way to Blaine's bedroom. By the time they hit the bed, both Kurt and Blaine were completely naked. Blaine hovered above Kurt, placing soft kisses along Kurt's neck and chest. Kurt leaned his head back, his eyes closed, just reveling in the feel of Blaine's lips against his skin.<p>

Blaine sat up and reached over, opening the bedside table drawer and pulling out a small bottle of lube and a condom. Kurt saw the condom and took it from Blaine, putting it back in the drawer. Blaine looked at him questioningly.

"I haven't had you in too long… I want all of you, as close as I can get it… Let's not worry about safe sex right now," Kurt whispered. Blaine smiled and kissed Kurt lovingly. Kurt smiled and kissed back, not noticing as Blaine spread some lube over his fingers.

Blaine pulled back and pushed Kurt back gently back onto the pillows. Kurt smiled and spread his legs. Blaine leaned in and kissed each of Kurt's thighs.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you, too," Kurt whispered back, loving the sound of the words as they rolled off his tongue. It had been too long. Who was he to think that he could just move on from the beautiful man between his legs.

Blaine circled Kurt's entrance with one lube covered finger, causing Kurt to tremble. He bit his lip, before pressing a finger into Kurt, pushing it past each tight ring of muscle. Kurt gasped softly and winced. It had been so long and the sting was very much there. Blaine stopped and looked up at Kurt in concern. Kurt noticed the look. "It's fine, just keep going…"

Blaine nodded and hesitantly pushed his finger in the entire way, before pulling it out and pushing it back in. Kurt shuddered. Blaine took this as encouragement and kept moving his finger.

The sting was slowly going away and Kurt found himself asking for more. Blaine nodded and pushed in another finger. Kurt clenched his teeth and relaxed his body. Blaine moved his fingers in and out, scissoring them to stretch Kurt out. He started crooking for his fingers, looking for Kurt's prostate.

Blaine knew he had found it when Kurt suddenly cried out, his back arching and his hands fisting the blanket beneath him. "Oh fuck…." Kurt whimpered, his entire body shaking with need. He had forgotten how good all of this felt. "Blaine, now…"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Blaine… I need you now."

Blaine pulled his fingers out, a little hesitant considering how tight Kurt was, but hey, he had fit in before, so he should still be able to. Blaine took one of the pillows from the head of the bed and slid it under Kurt's ass. He then took the lube and coated his cock with it. Both boys were throbbing painfully, both needing a release… Both needing this more than they knew.

He put the lube back on the bedside table and moved so he was situated perfectly in between Kurt's legs. Blaine ran his hands along Kurt's thighs, before lifting up, wrapping them around him slightly, just so that he would have a better angle. He then took his cock, lining it up with Kurt's hole, and pushed in just the head. Kurt gasped loudly, the sting coming back, but this time so much worse. Blaine leaned over him, his arms on either side of Kurt. Kurt gripped Blaine's arms.

"You're so tight… Fuck, are you sure you want this, Kurt?" Blaine asked, willing himself not to just thrust into that delicious heat. Kurt nodded, opening his eyes to look up at the man who had always been the love of his life.

"I'm sure… Just go slow…" Kurt whispered, reaching up to cup Blaine's face. Blaine sighed softly and nodded, leaning into Kurt's hand as he slowly pushed his way inside of Kurt, his jaw becoming slack as he got deeper.

After what seemed like an eternity, but was only a few short moments, Blaine was completely inside of Kurt. The heat was almost unbearable, and both boys were leaking pre-cum, but Blaine held off the need to move. He wanted Kurt to be comfortable. So he waited until Kurt gave him the green light, before pulling out and pushing back in slowly. A low groan escaped his lips as he did so. Kurt let out a shaky breath, his hands gripping Blaine's arms tighter.

Blaine kept moving, as Kurt willed his body to relax and allow the large intrusion to happen, which after a few more thrusts it did. It felt so good… After so long apart, they were both starting to feel… Complete again.

"Faster, Blaine…" Kurt whimpered, his eyes closed, his back arching with every push into him. Blaine nodded and picked up the pace, his cock sliding in and out of Kurt's a lot easier now. Kurt's moans were getting louder with every thrust. Blaine wanted to hear more though. So he pulled out completely and then thrusted back in at a different angle, hitting that bundle of nerves deep inside of Kurt. Kurt's back arched as far as it could go and he basically screamed.

They kept on like this, the sound of skin slapping skin and their breathy moans filling the air. Blaine whispered "I love you" more times than he could remember. Kurt would have whispered it back, had it not been for Blaine hitting his prostate with each push into him.

When he was getting closer, Blaine gripped Kurt's cock, pumping his hand over it the way he remembered Kurt liked best. Kurt let out a loud, continuous moan, Blaine hearing his name and several very colorful words mixed in with it. Kurt came hard, his cum going all over both of their stomachs, as well as covering Blaine's hand. Kurt's ass clenched around Blaine's cock hard and before Blaine knew it, he too was coming hard inside of Kurt.

After they had both come down from their orgasms, Blaine reluctantly pulled out of Kurt, both of them whimpering at the loss. Blaine laid himself down beside the beautiful boy next to him, the one he had never stopped loving. Kurt rolled over, resting his head on Blaine's chest.

Blaine stroked Kurt's hair and gently hummed a slower version of "Teenage Dream" as Kurt fell asleep in his arms.

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><p>Kurt broke up with Alexander the next day. He told him everything. He knew that if he didn't, the guilt would kill him. He told him about how he had never really gotten over Blaine, how they had kissed, how they had had sex. Alexander was hurt, but he also wasn't entirely shocked.<p>

"A guy can always tell when they aren't the one on their lover's mind," he had said. Kurt didn't really know how true that was, but the two parted ways as separate people. Of course, in a way, they had never been together at all…

Kurt's heart had always been with Blaine.

Once finals were done, Kurt moved in with Blaine. Despite the sex they had, they decided they were going to take things slow. They wanted to get to know each other as the new people they had become, as the adults they had grown into in their time apart.

They knew it wouldn't be easy. There was always the chance of heartbreak, one that would probably hurt worse the second time around. But Kurt and Blaine needed each other. They always had.

_Bust in the door and take me away,_

_Oh, no more mistakes,_

_Cause in your eyes, I'd like to stay._

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><p><strong>Reviews would be lovely, but don't feel obligated to do so. I hope you enjoyed this.<strong>


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